004 [] He's the prince of circumstance.

[trickierthanthou]

DEAR SANTA:

I want a pony for Christmas.

I want my chip taken out. Wouldn't that be a nice gift? Then I could give eeeeeeeveryone else something even better!

Aside from that, I want a ton of chocolate bars, gummy bears, sour straws, and other assorted candy. And I mean a ton literally.

I want a new mattress for my bed and flannel sheets. The good kind! It's damn cold in this place. Speaking of cold, some new clothes with lots of jackets included.

A jacuzzi.

A lamborghini.

No wait, an Ariel Atom. Hells yeah!

My own private jet.

I want a pendant for Castiel. [Insert drawing of this symbol here.] Pure silver works best.

A wooden stake for Dean. I'm sure he wishes it worked. ♥

Oh, and my dog! Damn thing is liable to bite someone's hand off without me around.

Think you can handle that, Santa? Come on. It ain't even that hard of a list.

-Loki

Comments

[trickiernthou.livejournal.com]

Because'a some asshole who told him not to.

[kongeriget]

Well tell him I said it's okay! Why'd someone say that?

[trickiernthou.livejournal.com]

They don't like the idea of me with power. I even offered them favors!

Anyway, he said he'd think about it. Chopper. Dunno how long.

[kongeriget]

What's wrong with ya and power? And who's right is that anyway?

[trickiernthou.livejournal.com]

The hell if I know.

It's fucking ridiculous is what it is.

[kongeriget]

I know ya've done some stuff in stories…

[trickiernthou.livejournal.com]

They don't even know the stories about me!

[kongeriget]

Did ya do anything?

[trickiernthou.livejournal.com]

I haven't had time to do anything. [yet.]

[kongeriget]

Fuck, I could take it out myself, I know where it is!

[trickiernthou.livejournal.com]

[This is Loki a little wary. Loki does not like pain.]

...Iiii dunno. Do you even have any clue what you'd be doing?

[kongeriget]

I've done field first aid! Dug shrapnel outta wounds, that kinda thing! （　so… better than someone stabbing him open and groping around blindly, but not by much.　）

[trickiernthou.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I'm still not so convinced.

Where is it anyway?

[kongeriget]

Leg.

[trickiernthou.livejournal.com]

[...]

Really? That seems awfully easy.

[kongeriget]

It moved around, but I discovered it accidentally! So do ya want me to try an' take yers out?

[trickiernthou.livejournal.com]

Accidentally?

[kongeriget]

No one knew where it was, so some people started killin' people to try and find the location like that, and me and Japan accidentally fished up one of those bodies, aaaaand I figured it out!

[trickiernthou.livejournal.com]

[That's not gruesome at all.]

What luck.

[kongeriget]

Yup, ya can tell. She was all torn up except for her leg, where there was a way smaller cut. And if it hadn't been there, they'd have had to look more, ya know? Hah, and people say I'm dumb!

just. /facepalms forever.

[trickiernthou.livejournal.com]

[He's not quite sure what to say to that. It would be rude to agree, right?]

Being dense and dumb aren't quite exactly the same thing. [Maybe he won't get it.] Well, anyway... I mean, if you really know what you're doing...

he sees nothing wrong with it.

[kongeriget]

I see! （　he doesn't really get it.　） And I've cut up people all the time!

I think it sounds painful.

[trickiernthou.livejournal.com]

...That doesn't sound creepy at all!

[kongeriget]

It's not.

[trickiernthou.livejournal.com]

Taken out of context, it most definitely is!